Last Sunday was the most scary moment in my life.

Around 3:oo am, i woke up having chest pains at the left part...i assumed at that time that it was my heart...whenever i feel that, i cough coz i felt that by coughing, my heart would pump harder making blood flow faster...and so i did that...but the pain just won't go away....i drank water...nothing happened...i thought i'd just go to my room and try to relax myself...i started feeling this strange thing - bloated, as if my pores open up and expand - you know the feeling of having goosebumps (minus the hair-standing 'chicken skin')...i felt that from my chest then to my shoulders and up...i even felt it in my tongue...i think i even felt that in my legs too...but, while going up to my room, i couldn't contain the pain and that strange feeling anymore...i told my mom about it...i can't remember exactly how i said it...in my mind, i asked am i having/going to have a heart attack?...will i have a stroke?...i probably told her my chest hurts and i couldn't breath...she calmly asked me if i want to be brought to the hospital...i told her yes...

i was so scared...i started praying...i mumbled it, trying to make myself calm...calling the heavens to take care of me...

we knocked at the door of my kuya arnold and asked him to bring me to the hospital...daddy, who was in a nearby room, woke up because we really did knock so hard...(hehe, sorry)

my parents helped me go down the stairs...there were 2 thoughts in my mind...first, i was soooo THANKFUL and GRATEFUL that i was able to confess last friday...uh-huh...after so many months, i finally went to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation...i thought i am ready to, you know, because i am free of sin (really, i thought of that)...second, was a funny thought...i thought, whoa, i'm not yet married!...let me not yet, you know...hehe...(really, again, i thought of that)...kakatawa noh?

and so, we arrived at the Medical City...at last!... i felt it was a long, long ride...

i was asked some questions, then a doctor interviewed me...i had ECG, blood sample, x-ray, blood sample again for my sugar....during my entire stay there...i felt that strange feeling over and over again (minus that chest pain, i think)...my mom was with me all the time...she even went to find the store and buy some food because i was hungry...daddy was at home, feeling uneasy, in constant communication with kuya arnold and my mom...i could even picture him coughing hard so as to release the tension...=)...mom said sana sumama na lang si daddy sa hospital =D

while i was in the observation room (that's where all the patients stay waiting if they would be released or admitted) i was able to 'observe' the different patients...some were in pain, some were just sleeping...others were with a loved one...others alone...

there was one particular couple...the girl was having abdominal pains i guess...the guy, i assume the husband, patiently took care of her...stroking her hair...helping her stand up and go to the rest room...sitting beside her bed...waiting for the doctor's findings...i couldn't help but wish i would feel that same thing (not being sick, of course)...but feeling how much love was shown at the time it was badly needed...never hearing any 'sumbat'...just words of pure love and understanding...

another patient was a korean (i think)...she had dextrose...and was alone...suddenly she started gasping for breath...looking at the ceiling, trying to find air to breathe...a nurse calmly placed oxygen...and she was ok...she was crying...i don't know why...maybe because she felt alone?...alone in the hospital...alone in a foreign country...a girl went to her bed, probably just a friend of hers...i heard them talking, the korean girl, trying to talk in english...tears in her eyes...the friend was civil...i guess, they weren't really close...i didn't feel the love from the friend...there weren't physical contact involved...she was just there standing beside the bed, talking...i felt sad for the korean...this is the essence of the words BEING ALONE...

moments pass-by and the doctor explained his findings on me...the pain most probably was due to upper respiratory tract infection...muscles contract...might be due to my cough...he couldn't explain my strange feeling...he said maybe it was due to stress or maybe psychosomatic...he prescribed me some medicines...then, he said i can be released...THANK YOU, LORD...PRAISE TO YOU, LORD!

i came back home safe and sound...and thankful for the life i have.

PS
- thank you mommy for taking good care of me...would you believe she was in a pambahay clothes and worn-out slippers the entire time?
- thank you kuya arnold for driving
- thank you daddy for picking us up from the hospital and fixing our things complete with sandwiches, sandals, napkin, etc, in case i'd be admitted